Thursday, February 19, 2009

'bout time

I guess it's time once again to update the blog. I've felt like I've needed to for a while now, but I kept putting it off, mostly because I have a hard time putting the last 3 months into words. Did I do my math right? Has it really only been 3 months? Longest 3 months of my life, yet still just a short time. I kinda wish I could fast forward 5 years ahead and just skip the whole process. Except for then I'd be 36 and really old! I keep myself as busy as possible. My job couldn't be any more busy, despite the economic downturn. It's kind of a good thing and a bad thing. It's nice to be able to occupy my mind for most of the day, but I could also use a break from unrealistic deadlines.

Lately I've been trying to figure out whether or not I grieve normally. I know anyone in a situation like mine would handle it differently in their own way. I've found it can hit at any time and at odd times. If you have ever seen a black lifted Tacoma swerving in the lane in front of you, I can assure you I have not started drinking because of all this :) I've read a few books, talks, and articles that were suggested to me that have been probably the most helpful. I would recommend them to all.

Book: The Message By Lance Richardson
Talk: Come What May, and Love It By Joseph B. Wirthlin
Article: Heber Q. Hale in the Spirit World

Here is a quote from the last one I really liked: "The righteous person’s birth into the world of spirits is a glorious privilege and blessing. The greatest spirits in the family of the Father have not usually been permitted to tarry longer in the flesh than to perform a certain mission; then they are called to the world of spirits where the field is greater and the workers fewer. This earthly mission may therefore be long or short as the Father wills."

For the most part I guess I'm doing fine... I know I have a lot of help and prayers.


jaime said...

thanks for posting this justin.
i have been thinking a lot about you lately and wondering how you are doing.

i am glad you have found some peace and comfort, and i know the lord will continue to sustain you through all the difficult moments.

The Bostock Fam said...

oh that was you that almost hit me the other day! Great quote I enjoyed it. I love Elder Wirthlins talk. I am very excited that confrence is coming up. Ihope you find peace this session.

It was good to hear from you finally!

Andréa Morrow said...

you missed out tonight Justin.. tomorrow is fast sunday for us.. so I'll probably make dinner, Brant will probably call you.

Sonia said...

Justin, I don't know you. I think I saw you back in the day in the single scene, but we have a lot of mutual friends, ie. Nicole Passage, Heath Snell, Chelsea (now Snell), Britney Smith (now Jorgenson), and others. I followed your blog after the passing of your beautiful wife, and my heart went out to you and both your families. It seems that you are taking the right path by staying close to the spirit. That is what will sustain you during this trying time. You have to allow yourself to grieve-she was and is your beautiful wife, but you also need to allow the Atonement to work in your life and help you to heal. Our Heavenly Father and Savior are fully aware of you. Keep reading those amazing articles and books. Take care, and I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. ~With love, Sonia

megan allen said...

FINALLY! You really have been busy huh? Justin, I love you! I know I am your younger sister and this probably sounds weird but I am so proud of you! You have set a great example for me and I am thankful to you for that. You are amazing! Love, Megs(your bestest sister ever)

anna said...

So great to have you updating the blog again Justin. As you already know... there are many, many people thinking of you and supporting you-- including many you don't even know out here in Texas (news about great people travels fast). :)

Thanks for your strength, and willingness to keep us all involved in your thoughts and feelings.

hlmortensen said...

Good to hear from you Justin. :) We're still thinking of you and praying for you. Let's get together sometime soon. Take care.
Heidi and Mike

M.M.M. said...

Hi Justin-
Just a member of your ward that you don't know too well...
Just checked in and was glad to read that you are surviving. My mom died when I was 19 and while I know it is not the same, I am accustomed to the grieving process...surreal isn't it? I am glad you are hanging in there. You and Susan's family are still in my prayers.
Melissa Mortensen

tjsanford said...

Hi Justin,

I just happened to come across your blog. I am terribly sorry for your loss. When my husband passed away, I read every book I could find to help comfort me. My most favorite one is Understanding Death And The Resurrection. I hope you continue to be comforted during this time.

Mike Steph Brooklyn and Carter said...

Thanks for updating, I have often wondered how you are doing and I am so glad to hear you are coping the best you can. I still pray for you guys all the time, and hope you are continuing to heal. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!

Marissa said...

Good to hear from you, Justin. A book I found really uplifting is Don Piper's "90 Minutes in Heaven." It offers a glimpse of Heaven's beauty and chronicles a minister's struggle to make sense of why he was sent back from it.

Anonymous said...

It was good to hear from you. I think of you so often and keep you in my prayers. I have always wanted to be able to give people the gift of years so they could be more at peace - and even more for you just so you could find out that 36 is really not that old. Take care and may God hold you in the palm of his hand and bring you comfort!
Kathy Thomas

thearringtonclan said...

Hello Justin
Thank you so much for your update.. We think of you often.. You are as amazing as Susan was..We have learnt so much from both of you and the faith Susan had was an inspiration to us and continues to be. Mathew is getting so sick with Chemo they are thinking they need to stop..Thankfully, they believe he is cancer free.. With the knowledge of the Gospel in your heart we hope it will be a comfort for you as you continue your journey here... Take care and may Heavenly Father bless you always.. Maxine and Mathew

Anonymous said...

I know you don't know me, but I've heard a lot about you from my family and friends. I'm glad you're hanging in there. no matter how hard it seems...I know you can do it! I think and pray for your family often.

Los Peña said...

Justin, thank you so much for your post. I'm not sure if you know but I shared this with Susan, but our little girl was born with a terminal brain defect. She is home with us right now. Her seizures have increased and we were told that she does not have much time. She is only 7 weeks old. Your blog, everything both you and Susan have shared has made our experience all the more bearable. Thank you!

Jenny D. said...

You don't know me (I was Susan's neighbor years & years ago when we were kids, but I was/am Mike's age). I know everyone has different situations and struggles, but like you, I have recently experienced the "grieving process." Two things:
1. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me "It will get better with time" I would be living in luxury. I don't find this statement comforting or true. Time is irrelevant, the "process" and our own coping strategies are what get better.
2. The Atonement. It works.

Adam&Rachel said...

Good to hear from you Justin. I have wondered how you were but hate to pry. I think about you often. I am glad you have found strength and comfort in the gospel. I hope you can continue to grieve in you own way:) and find peace

Kadi Johnson said...


I know I don't know you personally, but I wanted to let you know that I think of you and what you are going through often, more often than I ever imagined.

My thoughts and prayers are with you as you find peace and triumph in your journey.

Kadi Jo - St. Louis, MO

Summer said...

There is no wrong way to grieve. Rest assured you are doing it the right way. I enjoyed that book by Lance Richardson as well. My brother passed away a few years ago and it is a very comforting book. Hang in there! I'll be more alert when driving from now on. Thanks for the warning.
Summer Henderson Gardner